New pain
As much as I resent the monster at times, in a way I have got used to my pain. Over the last few years I have learned what aggravates it. I have found new ways to manage it and have got better at mentally dealing with it through acceptance.
But there is also a problem with getting complacent, it can throw me badly when pain appears raging in another part of my body. I have a diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia type pain along with CPS. This affects only the left side of my head and face. It can be triggered by a light breeze or cool air. Stress also fires it up but with meditation and medications it has become fairly manageable. I also suffer less in the warmer months.
Last week I woke up in the night to electric shock pains and burning on the right side of my head. I wasn't prepared for this flare up and it caught me completely off guard. It is a new pain, randomly now affecting my right side. As far as I was aware trigeminal neuralgia rarely affected both sides.
It’s like the pain is all brand new again. It sends me back to the drawing board of management. I’m back to pacing around the living room in the wee hours of the morning in frustration. Upping my amatriptalyne and hoping for the best.
I decided the best course to take was to distract from it and try and get on top of it. It is always unnerving to experience new pain. I have got better though, I no longer take myself to accident and emergency. I am aware now that my pain can change and it’s just a case of adapting and keeping my stress levels down.
CPS tries to beat me down but I refuse to surrender. I need a bit of fight in me and strategies that help me deal with it. I can physically slow myself down and with meditation cope with the negativity - which comes in thick and fast on the rough days.
Life is a challenge and stress is inevitable, as is the pain, so I have to stay afloat no matter how dark the day’s may get. An attitude of acceptance and a willingness to let go of the anger that formulates when new pain appears is vital. I cannot afford to resent my situation. Stress needs to be in a low gear. And when it is I have a decent chance of surviving my CPS.