CPS - What has changed?

Image Credit: ©Kelsey Rein

It will be 3 years this month since the accident that triggered central pain syndrome. It’s been a long and challenging road so far. Depression hit me hard to begin with and I struggled daily to function as I did before.

I got lost in resentment at the forced changes to my life. I struggled to financially support my family. There were times we took charity to buy the girls food and nappies. We got behind on our mortgage payments and bills. And the harder I pushed myself to get better - the worse my body reacted.

I sought help with the pain clinic and it was there I learned of the negative impact of stress. And how it can ramp up the pain. And I was stressed to the max. A good friend told me that I had to let go of my anger. It was a wake up call that began a road of mental recovery.

It soon became clear that my condition was permanent and that the main focus of my management had to be in dealing with the emotional strain. As long as I resented I was going to suffer, and there was much to let go of. I had to change my attitude towards the pain and somehow learn to live alongside it..

Letting go of the resentment and frustration I felt wasn’t going to happen over night, it will be a lifetime's work. Especially as the pain changes and appears in other parts of my body. The main of my CPS is centred in my head and lower spine and lumber region. I knew I had to find away to cope. The medications worked to an extent, but it was months before they became fully effective - another thing I resented.

But over time, with non contemplative meditation, medications levelling out and a change in diet due to type 2 diabetes, things slowly began to change. The main area of improvement was that I stopped struggling with the pain. I began to find acceptance around my condition. It was going no where and I had to be dedicated to improving, however I could. By giving up the daily fight I was reserving needed energy.

At the end of 2020 I had finally got a handle on the monster. It doesn’t mean I no longer suffer, it just means it doesn't overwhelm me for as long when it ramps up.

I’ve made progress over the last year. I have settled into a new part time role at work and my home life has become much better. The triplets are at a challenging age so my improvement in management has come at the right time. Three energy filled toddlers keep me on my toes.

A lot has changed in such a short time. I am slowly learning to make the most out of my situation.

If you are struggling with CPS, my advice would be to stop struggling with the mental pressures. Let go of any anger you have towards your condition, seek acceptance and be kind to yourself. You are dealing with pain normal folks will never understand or experience. A small change in attitude can make a big difference in your life.

Questions or comments? Join the CPS patient conversation at our closed Facebook group or email us at info@cps.foundation